<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m a mom of three, so I’ve been through some version of the back-to-school ritual for a long time, and I’ve watched the same pattern in myself and in almost every parent I know. Budgets that you can stick to everywhere else in life tend to get very loosey-goosey the moment it’s about your kid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a Certified FinancialTherapist\u2122, my instinct is to figure out why. What I realize is that providing for our kids has a huge emotional pull that can easily override our best laid budgeting plans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are two sets of feelings driving back-to-school shopping decisions: yours and your child\u2019s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Parents:<\/strong> Our reasons usually start with guilt and a desire to protect our kids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For some of us it’s career guilt. We’re building careers we’re proud of, and that pride quietly coexists with the worry that we’re not home enough,and when we are home, we aren\u2019t present enough, so the shopping cart becomes a place to make it up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For others it’s wanting them to fit in at school. We want to shield our kid from any social risk or sting, often because we remember what it felt like not to have the cool thing when everyone else seemed to have all of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And for families where money is tight, it’s the guilt of saying no all year and a desire to shield them from a challenging financial situation. When money is tight and the honest answer is no most of the time, back-to-school and the holidays become the two moments parents feel the ultimate pressure to be an indulgent parent. That’s a hard impulse to push back on. It’s also how a season meant to feel generous turns into a balance you’re still carrying in November, just when the next wave of spending pressure hits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kids.<\/strong> Their reasons include social dynamics, self-expression or knowing when the answer is likely to be yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For a lot of kids, it\u2019s about social safety. They’re navigating a world where having the right shoes can influence where you get to sit at lunch and they’re figuring out who they are while they do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For others, it\u2019s about identity. A backpack or a pair of sneakers is not only a way into a new social group but it can be one of the few ways a 12-year-old gets to express themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And for some, they\u2019ve learned that back-to-school shopping is a great time to get what they want from a parent. Our kids learn our patterns as much as we learn theirs, and they\u2019ll use what they know because they\u2019re smart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a parent, I can confirm I’ve personally witnessed many of these scenarios in my own family. As a financial professional, I can tell you the data backs it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n New research from Accredited Debt Relief found that 70% of parents feel pressure to buy the same clothes, technology, and school supplies as other families, and 61% admit they’ve bought something specifically so their child wouldn’t feel left out. Nearly 4 in 10 parents (39%) expect to take on debt for back-to-school costs this year alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n