Money stress can push you to rush, avoid the hard stuff and spend to feel better for a minute. And if you’ve gotten yourself into a more stable financial place, it can be difficult to turn these emotions off. But overcoming your survival instincts is possible — here’s how to do it, step by step.
What it Means to Live in Survival Mode Is and Why It Matters
When you make a choice, you’re using all your lived experience to inform your decision. Especially for those who grew up in poverty, education around money management felt like a luxury — after all, when you don’t have much to live on, it becomes difficult to plan strategic moves. There’s also the reality that poverty is expensive: And when that’s your reality for so long, it’s understandable that you may follow familiar paths that no longer are your only — or best — option. And now that you have your financial footing, your job is to identify when you’re making a decision based on an emotional reaction that feels comfortable and safe.
Signs You’re Still in Survival Mode
- You only react to the next urgent thing, then crash after.
- Even small, normal spending feels unsafe.
- Long-term plans feel pointless because “things always go wrong.”
- You say “I’m bad with money,” out loud or in your head.
- You hide money stress from people who would help.
If two or more fit, it means your brain did what it had to do to get you through. Now you can move toward steady ground.
Rewriting Your Financial Programming
Step 1: Prioritize your needs
It might seem silly to affirm that you can afford your basic needs, but if you’re coming out of survival mode, it can be helpful. When you’re housing insecure, relying on food banks or rationing heat in the winter, these traumatic experiences can put you in a sort of never-ending state of panic. So take a moment to add up the cost of all your basics, and look at how that fits into your budget as it exists now. Confronting the idea than the reality might be less dire than you feel is essential to regaining calm and overcoming feelings of anxiety.
Step 2: Start an emergency fund you can actually keep
An emergency fund is the first step to building a financial safety net, and potentially the most essential. An emergency fund should cover at least 3-6 months of your expenses. But don’t balk at the number — it’s something you can build over time. Knowing that you have something to fall back on can further help you get out of survival mode and begin thinking more objectively about your finances.
Step 3: Challenge your thinking
You can make the stories you tell about yourself true — but you can also use self-talk as a means of change. Notice when you begin feeling anxious about money, and listen to the words that come to mind. Then, make a point of challenging those thoughts. Consider the change in momentum when you shift your thinking:
- “I can’t plan” becomes “I check one bill every Tuesday.”
- “I blew it” becomes “I didn’t like that choice, and I can choose better today.”
Step 4: Keep proof of progress
When you’re coming out of a period of stress, it can sometimes feel like you need to make a change, fast. But the reality is that progress happens slowly, and that every step forward is a step in the right direction. Challenging your self-perception around money is difficult and similarly slow — which is why you should keep track of your journey. That way, when you’re struggling in the future, you can look back at the past with gratitude, and spur yourself to continue onwards. Rewriting the story means retelling it sometimes, too.
Step 5: Check in with your body
When you think about dealing with bills, do you shut down? That’s when you need to check in with what your physical body is feeling. If your shoulders are tight or your jaw is clenched, take a deep breath and intentionally relax. After all, your brain is a part of your body, and how you’re feeling impacts your thinking more than you’d expect.
When Old Balances Keep the Noise Going
Old habits die hard. So if several high-interest balances are squeezing you every month, debt consolidation with Accredited Debt Relief can help you find a structured path out of debt.
Want to learn more? Our experts can help.